NPR comes clean on past biases (sort of), promises to not do it again - until the next time
Following a scathing rebuke by 25-year NPR veteran, Uri Berliner, of the sharp turn to the left and the lack of any journalistic standards at NPR, the public radio network initially defended its actions and criticized Berliner.
“We take exception to what Berliner had to say about NPR,” said NPR CEO Katherine Maher. “We accuse him of heresy and demand that he be burned at the stake. Unfortunately, because of the carbon that a burning Mr. Berliner would send into the atmosphere, we have been told that is not an option. So, as a backup plan, we demand that he be tied to the blade of a windmill until windmill-generated power no longer requires any government subsidies. That’ll take care of him for the next century or so.”
However, that did not quiet the critics who have long lamented that the government-subsidized NPR leans heavily to the left. After continued and mounting pressure, Maher issued a second set of comments about Berliner’s complaints and acknowledged he may not have been completely incorrect in his assessment.
“After further review, maybe Mr. Berliner sort of had a point or two about NPR,” Maher said. “I will take a few of his criticisms and address them individually. First, we said Hunter Biden’s laptop wasn’t real and we weren’t going to insult the intelligence of our listeners by reporting on it. It’s not really our fault that we got it wrong since we relied on a very reliable source at the time. We asked the attorney for Hunter Biden if the laptop was real and he said, ‘What laptop?’ That was good enough for us and should have been good enough for the American people. Too bad it wasn’t. I think the American people fuss too much about stuff like that.”
Maher then discussed how NPR reported on the Trump-Russia collusion debacle. You know, the one where everybody in the media claimed that Donald Trump colluded with Russia to steal the 2016 election. After an extensive investigation, even the FBI could not find any such evidence.
“Sure, we had Adam Schiff on NPR so many times that he qualified for our 401k retirement plan,” Maher stated. “But that was only because he was saying things that we liked. What’s so wrong with that? We like Adam Schiff almost as much as we hate Donald Trump. It seemed so…so natural to us. So what if it wasn’t true? If we wanted to be truthful, we’d be a completely different radio network. Nonetheless, we promise not to do it again – until the next time.”
Finally, Maher addressed Berliner’s assertion that there were no registered Republicans at NPR.
“We don’t think it’s a big deal that we don’t have any Republicans here at NPR,” Maher continued. “Quite honestly, I don’t know any. Even if I did, they probably don’t have the lowly standards needed to work here, elected officials notwithstanding. I’m sure that if I ever meet a Republican I might hire him or her, we are always looking for quality lawn maintenance at our building in Washington, D.C. So, I think we can put that one to bed.”
Maher said she feels confident that NPR will continue to produce the type of news stories that Americans have ignored for decades.
“And we will continue to ignore stories that conflict with our worldview,” Maher added.