News of the week – A very pedestrian edition
Wisconsin – where sidewalks aren’t sidewalks or something
The Wisconsin Supreme Court recently ruled that a sidewalk is not a pedestrian walkway when deciding whatever it was they were trying to decide.
“The conventional view of a sidewalk as a pedestrian walkway is, well, rather pedestrian,” Justice Rebecca Frank Dallet said. “This court believes in trans transportationality - the understanding that a sidewalk can be anything it chooses to be. If it wants to be a sidewalk, this court is fine with that. However, should it decide it wants to be a pedestrian walkway or even a Republican of some sort – granted, that would never happen in Madison – we are fine with that too, except for the Republican part.”
At issue was whether or not the government could seize an individual’s property for the construction of more sidewalks. Of course, the Wisconsin state motto – Wisconsin is a great state and if you don’t believe us, just check out our sidewalks – displays the reverence Wisconsinites hold for their sidewalks, pedestrian walkways, or whatever.
If you are asking yourself if this makes any sense, you needn’t wonder. It doesn’t. As further proof, the state’s other motto is: We don’t make sense, we make cheese.
Keep reading with a 7-day free trial
Subscribe to Curtice Mang - The Rights, er, Writes of Man(g) to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.