Finally, a temporary government program that is truly temporary
The Biden administration’s humanitarian pier that was constructed to provide aid to Gaza was always meant to be temporary, according to administration officials. It was announced with great fanfare as temporary federal government projects are about as rare as a Jewish homecoming queen at Columbia University.
“We feel it is important to provide humanitarian aid to Gaza, hence the need for this floating pier,” said National Security Communications Advisor John Kirby. “Having said that, we only wanted to provide humanitarian aid until the November elections. After that, all bets were off.”
Weege McFuster, Associated Press White House correspondent, wondered, “So, it was only supposed to be for a few months. That sounds temporary to me. But in reality, how temporary was it?
“About fourteen minutes,” Kirby responded. “It was on the water, you know, and water has waves in it. It sort of fell apart like a runny Jello mold. We kept trying to put it back together, but, you know. We simulated the construction in a water park outside of Alexandria, but some four-year-olds with floaties kept getting in the way. I guess we should have consulted the Navy as they seem to have some experience with water.”
“Do you think that was a good use of taxpayer dollars?” McFuster inquired.
“They were some of the best fourteen minutes of my life,” Kirby said.
Kirby acknowledged that no humanitarian aid was ever delivered to anybody in Gaza as it turned out the administration was too busy delivering such aid to protesting students at major American universities.
“We believe it’s important to provide aid where it is truly needed most – for young college protesters who might want to vote for this president,” Kirby said.
Kirby proudly acknowledged that construction of the pier, such as it was, went much faster than Biden’s program to install high-speed internet in rural areas.
“We are proud of how fast we were able to construct the thing,” Kirby said. So what if it only lasted about half as long as your average TV sitcom.”