Democrats worry if Trump is elected he will do to them what they do to him
A litany of famous and nearly-famous Democrats have recently begun wringing their hands in advance of an impending Donald Trump victory in November that they say will lead to him using the law to go after them. You know, like they do to Republicans.
Here is a sampling of some of the comments:
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez: I think Trump would put me in jail for being a loud, obnoxious narcissist. If those were crimes, I would have been in jail years ago.
Rachel Maddow: I don’t want to go to jail. I’m not that bad, honest! Can’t MSNBC do something? I really can’t be in the same cell as AOC. She’s insufferable. I think she might hurt me. Please help me!
Joe Biden: He better not put me in uh, jail. You know, I’ve been arrested before. A…a few hundred times, I think. I remember when I got arrested for marching down in Selma. Selma and Louise, I think it was. We were marching for more marshmallows in Rocky Road ice cream or something. Spent the night in jail next to some guy who said his name was Rocky, which I thought was a coincidence since I remember boxing Rocky Bal…bal…something or other. I beat the crap out of him. True story.
Anyway, Trump can’t put me in jail because I...I know people, like Hunter. He’s the smartest person I know and never does anything wrong. He’ll keep me out of jail. Hunter? Hunter?
Joe Scarborough: I’m not even a Democrat, even though I have to talk like one to keep my job at MSNBC. Trump should have let us hang out with him more before he became president. I begged him. Sure, it was Mika who put me up to it, but I did the actual begging. Did it help? No. Trump doesn’t like me. I can’t go to jail. What would Mika do? I wish I could pronounce her last name. That’s always bothered her. What’s the big deal? She likes me anyway. I think.
Nancy Pelosi: It’s not my fault. It’s never my fault. It doesn’t matter what I said on that damn video. It wasn’t my fault and I’m not going to jail because of it. Never, never, never.
Chuck Schumer: Whatever Nancy says. I don’t want to get on her bad side. If I do, I’d rather be in jail.
Alejandro Mayorkas: Thank God, we’ve got such an open border. If Trump wins, I’m going the other way. What’s the weather like in Guatemala?
Merrick Garland: Trump can’t put me in jail. It’s my job to jail political opponents. I don’t think it’s fair that Republicans play by our rules. They need to follow rules that we don’t pay attention to. If we paid attention to rules, we’d be Republicans. If I become a Republican, will he keep me out of jail?
Julie Fenton, New Hampshire school board member: What? You mean he’s not going to spy on parents at school board meetings? We’d have to listen to parents then. Who wants to listen to parents? This is a school district, for God’s sake. What do they expect us to do, teach their damn kids? They should do that at home and stop bothering us. I think parents should be in jail.
Hunter Biden: Maybe he could give me a pardon.